The Gift
by lord Martiya
Summary: We know Itachi made a gift to Naruto before his death against Sasuke. But only Itachi knew what kind of gift. Now, we'll reveal it to you. And that Itachi really hated Orochimaru.
1. Bad Luck

Lately I found out some fanfiction dealing with Naruto being named Hokage in Danzo's place. I was trying to put one together, and while imagining a certain Manda-ispired scene, I realized that we don't actually know what kind of gift Itachi made to Naruto. So, here my take.

by lord Martiya

**01: BAD LUCK**

Somehow, most of his plans against Konoha failed miserably for bad luck, the best example being his master plan of almost four years earlier with three letal strikes at the very heart of the village that got completely deflected by a series of unprobable events. He had come to accept that attacking Konohagakure in any way could mean the equivalent of being hit by a meteor on the manhood, but the situation he was in was just ridicolous: he had attempted to kill the Third Hokage's agent who wanted to kill him (and in their first battle almost managed to do so), had created a master plan to have his target kill himself, and as he saw the foe sports the first signs of a brain hemorragy he found that his way out by the anticipated counter was actually his target's way to seal him away in Uzumaki Naruto's body, right near the mighty Kyubi no Kitsune.

"This sucks." he stated. Then looked around and asked his prisonmate: "Why are we in the sewer under my old house?"

**"Our jailor had to use them as a safe haven."** the Fox replied. **"Before that, this mindscape was a freaking child's room, so I prefer this one."**

"I repeat, this sucks. Tell me, what do you do when bored?"

**"I listen what happens outside and remember with fondness when times Hashirama had me do his paperwork. Ah, good times..."**

Struck in a Jinchuriki with a demon so sick to love paperwork. He wouldn't wish that even to Tobidara or his worst foe.

"ITACHI, DAMN YOU!!!" Orochimaru cried.

* * *

Life in Naruto's mind was more interesting than anticipated. The kid had drive, strenght and was, simply put, a genius. Yes, he often passed as an idiot, but Orochimaru had to admit he was just suffering from a childhood with little to none social interaction and an horrible schooling. If just a quarter of what the Fox told him was true, the fact he was where he was declared Uzumaki Naruto as the most talented shinobi since the legendary Rikudo Sennin. That was why he decided to call back his curse at Itachi and help Naruto: before anything else, Orochimaru was a teacher, and couldn't stand to see even half of such a talent, and Itachi knew that well.

The first help had been a prank. Not to Naruto, but to Haruno Sakura: the pink haired banshee had the bad habit of using his host as a punching bag whenever she was even mildly irritated, and Orochimaru couldn't let that continue. And thanks to Itachi not being a seal master (and thus failing to correctly applicate the Jiraya-made seal that imprisoned the Snake Summoner), he had the means. Namely, the ability to take over Naruto for 4.7 seconds every 6 hours, 23 minutes and 2 seconds. And when the banshee reacted to a joke from Naruto with a punch at his head, Orochimaru took over and used her own monster strenght to launch Sakura away, possibly in the male part of Konoha's spa. And without Naruto realizing what had happened, or even that he had a second prisoner.

"Naruto..." Kakashi said after seeing the scene. "Couldn't wait until tomorrow to react at Sakura's abuse? Now it will be Gai to win the betting pool!"

Naruto and Orochimaru later found out that Shizune had organized a betting pool on when Naruto would finally react. And that Sakura had landed exactly on the wall separating men and women in the spa and was mistook for Jiraya. Like he would attempt something like that again after that time he did it with Tsunade... Anyway, after being chased by the older kunoichi and seeing the naked bodies of the old men that bathed at that hour (Orochimaru counted on that), Sakura started to keep herself from beating Naruto.

Orochimaru then started to think about solving another problem. Namely, Naruto being unable to realize about his personal stalker. Frankly, that was even more ridicolous than the failure of his grand assault at the Chunin Exam...

**"Really?"** the Fox asked him. **"Why you deem your failure so ridicolous?"**

"The idea was to attack from in and out at the same time. The external attack was spereheaded by three Manda-sized snakes, the internal one included unleashing a psycho jinchuriki perfectly willing to let his demon take over and me sicking the dead Hokage zombified on Sarutobi, killing him and then killing everybody with all the four Zombie Hokage while Manda put on his show about human sacrifices." Orochimaru explained.

**"OK, how did that failed?"**

"Jiraya was in town and dealt with the snake, then the ANBU and the defenders mopped out the assault. Sarutobi managed to prevent a Zombie Summon and then killed both Zombies and my arms, so to hell with summoning Manda. And that idiot Gaara couldn't think to have Sasuke just slip on his sand and crush him later, so he got dragged out of the battlefield and Naruto defeated his demon unleashed with an headbutt. Seriously, defeating a demon with an headbutt...!"

**"Uh... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I KNEW I SHOULD STAY AWAKE THAT DAY!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"**

Two hours later, when the Fox stopped laughing, Orochimaru resumed their conversation and made a proposal.

**"Why should I help you and our jailor?"** the Fox asked. **"Give me just one reason, and I'll do it."**

"First, we are struck here until Naruto dies." Orochimaru said. "I knew the Fourth Hokage, he was even more paranoid than me. If you ever managed to deprime Naruto into free you, that guy may pop out from hell and pep talk him into keeping you in. I saw him do strangest things, after all... So, given that we'll remain here forever, wouldn't be better transform this sewer in something more appreciable by having Naruto finally getting laid?"

**"... Right. I'll help."**

"And second, can you imagine Naruto's face when he'll start having wet dreams about her?"

**"That face alone would be worth of it."**

"By the way, why do you make him reject the toad?"

**"Sometimes old paperwork isn't enough to keep me amused."**

At that point Naruto had to return in Konoha: the messenger toad he left there had been killed, and that could only mean trouble.

* * *

When Orochimaru thought to trouble he couldn't imagine that Pein would attack Konoha. Yes, he knew the official leader of Akatsuki was so powerful that you couldn't fault the ones adoring him as a god, but that he would dare a solo attack on a major Hidden Village was just too much. Especially given that all three Sannin had the means to kick his ass, in Orochimaru's case with a sound genjutsu and some slash, in Jiraya's case with his Sage Mode (and in fact Orochimaru was wondering how Pein actually killed Jiraya and suspected that the Zombie Gang managed a lucky shot) and in Tsunade's case by just start using offensive ninjutsu (as she used them rarely, most people didn't know she could use them. Still, the only people who saw her using ninjutsu and lived to tell were the Sannin, Sarutobi and her genin team, everybody else was a foe who hadn't expected the manouver and got disintegrated by the overpowered attack). Yet, he did, survived Tsunade (probably because she was too busy healing people) and destroyed Konoha.

Then Naruto appeared, and proceeded to kick Pein's ass. Literally: while the Deva Path could defeat Gamabunta and two similar sized toads by sending them in orbit, Naruto had killed four of the other five zombies before that.

**"Wow... I think he doesn't need our help."** the Kyubi said as Naruto transformed the Preta Path in a toad statue.

"Wait... This guy doesn't call himself a god for nothing, and Naruto's still unexperienced." Orochimaru said. A second later, Deva Path pinned down Naruto with Chakra Disruption Blades.

**"Jinxo."**

"Please, shut up. When I say go, send a chakra pulse and kick out the Blades, I'll do the rest."

Orochimaru then executed a long sequence of seals, while somebody, Hyuga Hinata of all people, defended Naruto.

"GO!"

The Nine Tailed Fox sent out a chakra pulse, and Orochimaru executed his jutsu.

"Let's hope the test is successful."

**"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH TEST, YOU MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE?!?!?!"**That had been a bad day for Naruto. First, he started hearing maniacal laughs from the Fox, and whatever could make the Fox laugh wasn't good (after all, that sick demon amused himself with paperwork...). Then he found out that Kosuke was dead. After returning to Konoha he found out that Pein had destroyed the village. And now, after being pinned down by him, he got a love confession from Hinata. OK, a love confession wasn't so bad, but for some reason he felt like a stupid, and being unable to help her while she fight the last Pein wasn't a pleasant sensation. He could just hope Pein would trip or something and Hinata killed him...

* * *

_"GO!"_ said a voice in his head. And it wasn't the Fox's one, it was different, more snake-like. Wait, snake-like?!

Before Naruto could think more about that, the Fox sent out a huge chakra pulse and forced the Chakra Disruption Blades out. Hitting somebody.

_**"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH TEST, YOU MOTHE**_**RFUCKING SNAKE?!?!?!"**

"I mean I invented it after being struck here. But look, it was successful."

**"WHAT IF IT WASN'T?!?!?!"**

Naruto, Hinata and a wheelchair-ridden redhead with Rinnengan eyes found themselves in Naruto's mindscape, with Naruto having the Fox's cage at his back.

"You, with the redhead. You're Pein's real body, right?" Naruto asked.

"I am Nagato, yes." the redhead confirmed.

"N-Naruto-kun, where are we?" Hinata asked.

"Uh... That's my mindscape." Naruto admitted. "Hinata-chan... Please, tell me... What do I have behind me?"

"Er... A cage with a giant fox..."

**"VIXEN!!!"**

"A cage with a giant vixen fighting with a sort of snake-man bound to the wall with a leash."

"By the way, why do you have Orochimaru in your mindscape?" Nagato asked.

"That's Itachi-kun's idea of a gift." Orochimaru replied. "I'll explain later, but now, let's discuss about this fight like civilized people!"

BUMP!

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata cried.

"I think we broke him." Nagato said.

"Hyuuga-san, I think you should execute artificial respiration on Naruto-kun." Orochimaru suggested.

BUMP!

"Great, you broke her too." Nagato commented.

"I think so..." Orochimaru admitted. Then something clicked. "Wait, vixen?"


	2. Long Life to the Sixth Hokage

This time I have two things to say.

First, about somebody who will appear here, Mitarashi Goma. That OC of mine is nothing more than a reaction to an anime filler saga, namely the one where Mizuki returns. After all he, as a non-commissioned officer in a training role (a position of great responsability in every military), tried to kill a subordinate and a fellow non-commissioned, broke an high-level secret, abused of his position to commit treason, actually committed treason and espionage, and tried to desert, and those are all capital offences in most militaries. I know here in Italy they are NOT punished by death, but that's only because we don't even have capital punishment (until 1994 those crimes were punished by death during wartime), and we only applied it to the most disgusting criminals (last ones, just before we abolished death penalty for civilians, were four robbers who had robbed ten peoples and then battered and threw them in a well to death, and they would still have been pardoned if the president didn't noted they were in order for a lynching). Konohagakure no Sato, while relatively non-violent for shinobi standard, is still a military entity engaging in disgusting activities by modern standards (apparently, the only reason Orochimaru got charged with treason for his experiments was because he did the genetic ones (not the Cursed Seal. Remember, Anko has one) on Konoha's civilians, and if he did them on war prisoners or murderers probably he would have been only FINED or spanked, or something on these line. And even if I'm wrong on this, they still train eight-years-old children as full-fledged soldiers and assassins and start engaging them in these activities at 11), so, how much sense makes having Mizuki being just imprisoned with enough freedom to train and become even stronger instead of impaling, beheading, skin him or throw him in a pit with a sex-starved tentacle monster? That's what Mitarashi Goma the Executor of Konoha was born for: executing Mizuki in a gruesome manner, either in real time or in a flashback. After that, I grew fond of the character and decided to give him a greater role than just affirm Mizuki's execution.

Second, a theory on the the Fire Daimyo: he is extremely susceptible to loud people or Danzo sharinganed him. These are the two logical explanation to him supporting Kakashi as Hokage and then give Danzo the job two panels later, and Danzo's sharingans were covered at the time.

by lord Martiya

**02: LONG LIFE TO THE SIXTH HOKAGE**

"In short, you got crazy for your parents were so stupid to attack not-hostile but very jumpy shinobi instead of begging for their lives and Hanzo killed not only your best friend but even your puppy. How sad." Orochimaru said.

"I'll kill you, traitor!" Nagato replied.

"CUT IT!!!" Naruto ordered.

After Naruto fainted at having Orochimaru sealed in his head, the Kyubi had stopped insulting Orochimaru, took over his body, beheaded the Deva Path and moved Naruto and Hinata's bodies away from indiscrete people. At that point Naruto and Hinata had recovered themself, and, upon Orochimaru's suggestion, Nagato told them his reasons (or 'sob story', as Orochimaru called it). It had been a sad story. Then Orochimaru pointed out that Pein was, in fact, crazy.

"As much Orochimaru hadn't been very polite and I hate him, he's right." Naruto admitted. "Specially about killing everybody until they are forced to stay quiet."

"No, that would make sense if it wasn't for the foreign nations." Orochimaru replied. "No, it's the part where he think he can pull that under Tobidara's nose."

"Who?"

"It's his nickname for Uchiha Madara, or Tobi as he calls himself." Nagato explained. "I work directly under him."

**"You think to pull something like that under Madara's nose? You are truly crazy."** the Fox-er, Vixen said.

"He's senile, now. You should have seen when he told Orochimaru and Itachi about his master plan and they nitpicked it..."

"He shut up for a month whenever one of us appeared." Orochimaru said with a smile.

"Still, Naruto, do you have a better idea?"

"No. Not yet." Naruto replied. "But I'll have one, believe it!"

Nobody who wasn't there would understand how Naruto could convince Pein so easy. The fact is that Naruto has a way with words, one that nobody can describe.

"I'll do it." Nagato said before disappearing.

"Wait, where did he went?" Naruto asked.

"If you know the trick and aren't blocked, you can go away at will." Orochimaru explained.

"Oh. Now, what are you doint here?"

"The Nine Tailed Vixen told me Itachi made you a gift. She don't know what it originally was, but could become a seal if a certain condition was met. Namely, me completing successfully the escape from Itachi's attempt to seal me with Totsuka no Tsurugi. I think it was Jiraya's idea."

Naruto and Hinata looked at him funny.

"Why? Well, the seal keeping me here has been designed by Jiraya, and Itachi survived my attack during his fight with Sasuke only thanks to Yata no Kagami." the Snake Lord explained.

"THE WHAT?!" Naruto cried.

"Naruto-kun, what's Yata no Kagami?" Hinata asked.

"A mirror capable to block any attack. It's part of a set with Orochimaru's Kusanagi no Tsurugi and the Yakasani no Magatama I won from Tsunade. Why the hell did Jiraya give it to Itachi?!"

Orochimaru smiled and told Naruto the truth about the Uchiha massacre. How most of the Uchihas planned to rebel, how the Ne, Danzo's special unit, epurated the Military Police, how Itachi, the ANBU and the loyal Uchihas were forcing the surviving rebels into surrender, how Orochimaru himself made appear that the rebels would resist prompting the ANBU into killing them, how Orochimaru and what would soon become Oto ninjas killed the loyal Uchihas while they were fighting the rebels and missed Itachi by chance, how Madara had killed the non-combatants safe for Sasuke, and how Itachi himself decided to pay his failure into preventing the massacre by taking all the blame on himself and was then sent to kill Orochimaru and Madara (who at the time got an entry in the Bingo Book as Tobidara, from the name Orochimaru used while yelling at him for killing the children).

"Didn't you made experiments on children?" Naruto asked.

"One sob story for day, OK?" Orochimaru replied.

"And why should I trust you?"

"For you are God, in here. In your mindscape, you wish something and something happens. You wish I tell only truth, and I can't help but tell only truth. You wish the Vixen dead, and the mighty Kyubi no Kitsune is dead. I don't recomand this as it could free her chakra, and that wouldn't be pleasant. You wish Hinata-chan naked, and you have something wonderful to see."

While Hinata blushed, Naruto decided to test Orochimaru's words by materializing Sakura behind him and punching his head while screaming "PERVERT!!!".

"OK, I believe you." Naruto said.

"Gee, thanks." Orochimaru replied.

Hinata whispered something in Naruto's ear.

"Wow, thanks, Hinata-chan!" Naruto said. "Orochimaru, like it or hate it but you'll help me to become Hokage."

"I'll have to tell you my sob story soon." Orochimaru deadpanned.

* * *

After returning to the real world and finding out about Nagato killing himself by reviving all the people he killed in Konoha (Orochimaru commented something about Nagato playing the seven-testiculed dragon) and convincing his partner Konan to help Naruto, the Jinchuriki and Hinata returned in Konoha to be acclaimed as heroes. Then, at Orochimaru's insistence, the two got in a secreted place to talk. And Naruto's guests were enjoying his confusion about love, they found funny seeing Naruto stuttering at Hinata.

"Hi-Hinata... I don't know what to do." he finally said. "I mean... I just realized you love me, and you had to literally shout it to the world... I even used to think you had some serious medical condition because of you were always stuttering and blushing..."

_"Well, this explain the last Icha Icha."_ Orochimaru commented.

_**"What do you mean?"**_ the Kyubi asked.

_"I did beta reading for any and all of Jiraya's novels using Kabuto's stalker as intermediary. And in the last issue, currently printing, there is a Naruto-like character who had been confessed by an Hinata-like girl and called himself a fool for being exactly as dense as Naruto. Follows hentai scene."_

Naruto got paralized by the surprise. Not for Orochimaru beta reading Jiraya's novels, he had long realized that, it was for the complicated mean Jiraya chose to tell him that Hinata loved him. And before he could recover, Sakura appeared.

"DAMN PINKY, DID YOU HAD TO APPEAR NOW?!?!?!" Kiba cried after appearing from his hiding point.

"I concur, your appearance during Naruto's response to Hinata's love confession is most unfortunate." Shino said after popping out with Kiba.

Silence fell, broken only by chomping noise.

"OK, we have Hinata's teammates and Team 10... Is there other stalkers?" Naruto asked all too calmly.

At that point Kakashi, Yamato, Kurenai and Sai emerged from under Naruto and Might Guy and his team jumped down from the nearby wrecked building.

"I suppose we should run for our lives..." Sai said when Kyubi's chakra started to emerge.

At that point, Hinata had enough. It had been a stressful day, dealing with Pein, his 'sob story' and Naruto's guests, and Sakura ruining the moment was the last straw. As we do not wish to re-rate this story at MA, we won't report her exact words, only that she expressed extreme displeasure at Sakura's timing and the presence of stalkers different from Kiba and Shino and doubts about Sakura's education and asked why she was searching Naruto. Shino, who was accustomed to Hinata's stuttering, managed to translate Sakura's words: Tsunade was comatose, and the Daimyo was visiting.

_"OK, we have a problem."_ Orochimaru said. _"Unless you wish my evil version as Hokage, run to where the Daimyo is. Oh, and take Hinata with you too, she'll help."

* * *

_

When Naruto reached the tent hosting the Daimyo and Konoha's War Council (including the Hokage advisors Homura and Koharu, the Military Police leader Danzo (the Third Hokage decided it would be fun give him the position as a cover after Fugaku's death), the ANBU commander and the Jonin commander Nara Shikaku) he met an unpredicted obstacle: Konohagakure's Executor, the sadistic ANBU interrogator who was supposed to execute criminals and relay the Hokage's message when it was a life or death question (Sarutobi's reasoning had been that a famous and creative borderline psycho armed with a huge sword would express urgency fine enough). And he didn't wanted Naruto in trouble.

"Listen, if Shikaku fails we'll have Danzo as Hokage, and if you give him a reason you'll end brainwashed. And then, we are fucked." the Executor said.

_"Just tell him we know exactly how to deal with this, and evidence 'we' and 'how'."_ Orochimaru said. _"Oh, and try and make an impression of my laugh..."_

"Er... I have Orochimaru in my mind and he says he can deal with him." Naruto said to the Executor.

The Executor started laughing very loud, sometimes saying "He actually did it!" before laughing again. Then, a samurai emptied a cold water bucket on him.

"May we ask the reasons of your laughs?" the Daimyo himself asked.

"Sorry, Your Highness." the Executor said. "Uzumaki-sama and me were discussing about a plan to deal with Otogakure's threath when I noted a funny fact..."

"Uzumaki-sama?"

"Yes, he defeated Pein alone."

"Actually Hinata-chan helped me at the end..." Naruto protested.

"Tell us, Uzumaki, who's your teacher?" the Daimyo asked.

"Hatake Kakashi is my Jonin instructor, but I was Jiraya's apprentice for three years..."

"Very well. Uzumaki Naruto, you shall be the Sixth Hokage."

At that point, Danzo fainted. He had just brought upon the need to replace Tsunade, and his plan to trump Shikaku's probable objections and become Hokage got trashed by a LAUGH...

_"You know, I actually planned to use the Daimyo extreme susceptibility to loud people to have Danzo executed on the spot for killing the messenger toad, but this will work just fine."_ Orochimaru said.

"Wait! What about the paperwork?! And he's a prankster too!" advisor Homura pointed out.

"Well, as long you didn't killed his wife, forced him to see the thing for three days in a row and then negated him justice, I think we'll be fine." the Daimyo replied. "You know, I was there that day, and if I became Daimyo before Orochimaru snapped he would have received justice."

_"Hey, Snaky, what is he saying?!"_ Naruto asked to Orochimaru.

_"I have a sob story too."_ was the reply. _"That, and all my original jutsu are killing pranks. Fake snakes popping out of a box is a very basic prank, after all..."_

"OK, but for the paperwork?" Homura continued.

"The Fuzzball here loves paperwork." Naruto replied. "So much that she'll do a good and honest job so I'll let her do so. And if she try to betray me... Well, I know how to torture her."

Homura and the Kyubi snorted at the same time, scepticals.

"What if I materialize two hundred images of Uchiha Madara dancing cancan just outside her cage seal?" Naruto asked.

Homura retired his objections, and the mighty Kyuubi no Kitsune pledged for mercy.

_"And they call ME evil..."_ Orochimaru commented. _"Well, I salute you, Rokudaime Hokage. Would you like to become stronger?"_


End file.
